The last few years in my life have been difficult. Its been like wading through thick, dark sticky mud at times. I’ve experienced death of a loved one and major job loss in my family. I’ve felt very much that nothing was working, flowing, in sync. That I wasn’t able to manifest. That I was stuck. That nothing would ever change. That every day was the same as the last. It’s a dark place to be as you start to lose hope and faith that you can ever change anything at all and that life will ever be different. I have felt the walls of a dark tunnel suck me down.
I sat in my car just before Christmas and everything seemed particularly dark. I have always had faith in my ability to change my circumstances and to change my life in any way that I set my mind on. I have always considered myself a positive force. On this particular day, I had been talking to one of the parents at my kid’s school. They were just about to go skiing for the winter holidays and I had mentioned to them that it was one of my ambitions to learn how to ski. But then, later on, I had this thought process, ‘What makes you think that will ever happen? You are 43, time is running out, you have no money, life is passing you by, you keep saying you will do these things and yet you don’t, you can’t make anything happen’. YUK.
I also got into the self pity vibe too. ‘Everyone else seems to be able to create change. Everyone else has good things happen to them. Everyone else has stuff handed to them and I don’t. Why doesn’t anything good ever happen to me’. POOR FUCKING ME. DOUBLE YUK.
I think we get into these patterns a bit out of habit and a bit through the ground-hog day nature of daily life. Life can become very unconscious and very mundane and very auto-pilot if we aren’t careful. And then it feels like nothing does change and that we are stuck.
After a few days of total self indulgence and a lot of inward looking angst , I decided that I needed to get a grip and do something, anything, to get me out of the downward spiral of doom. I decided to take a long hard look at what it was I had been doing and what I wasn’t doing to support positive change. Its very easy to get into cycles of negativity and I find it particularly hard in the daily routines of my life to create immediate big change. I am a busy mum, I have a virtually full time job and 2 children, a home to run and a social calendar of kids clubs and parties. I find it very hard to find any time for myself to even think about the things I want to do differently. I knew, though, that I had to create a different energy to that of recent years and to commit to doing things differently. I had to set a new intention.
My 5 ways to create a different energy.
1/ TAKE A BREAK FROM YOUR DISTRACTIONS (even for a short space of time). Alcohol, drugs, shopping, social media, whatever they are have a hypnotic effect that’s very distracting. I have decided to stop drinking alcohol for a year. I love a drink and I am known for being the first in the pub and the last one standing so it’s a big deal for me. Distractions create a unconscious energy and it numbs you to life, to energy and your power. I want to feel awake and alive and present in every moment.
2/ WRITE A JOURNAL. Get it all out on paper. I tend to have a few on the go at any given time that serve different purposes for me. One is a stream of consciousness, get everything off my chest rant. It helps me to get everything that’s on my mind out onto paper and to get a perspective. Try not to judge it and just write (see The Artist’s Way Daily pages as a good example of this). The other way that I keep a journal is much more structured and all about goal setting. I have a Daily Greatness Journal which I love and helps me focus every day on the good things I want to achieve and focus on and also to practise gratitude every day. It has a section where you can set your dreams and ambitions for the future. I have bought a new journal for 2017 and have committed to write every day in it. If you have never written before, give it a go.
3/ READ INSPIRING BOOKS (and trust that there is a serendipity to those that come to you). It has always been my experience that the books you need to read will come to you at the right time. I have never kept lists of things I want to read- I just trust that the right book will end up in my hands and generally that has always been the case. I am mostly a reader of non- fiction (although I do sometimes like a good novel). Recent good reads have been ‘The Space within’ by Michael Neill, ‘Life without a centre’ by Jeff Foster and ‘The Universe has your back’ by Gabby Bernstein. There has been a theme to them for sure. I am currently working through the exercises in the Gabby Bernstein book. All 3 of these are great explorations of inner space and will create a shift in your thinking.
4/ GET SOME FOCUSED SUPPORT. I have had life coaching and energy healing in the last couple of years. I have also had some cranio-sacral treatments and acupuncture. Speaking to someone else with an expertise in helping you and also who is rooting for you in every way is good for the soul. Most people have some issues that they struggle to deal with or need to work through and talking to someone else and getting some healing really helps to break long held patterns. Talk to someone out of your normal circle, get a new perspective and set some new goals for 2017. It really helps to create new energy.
5/ DO SOME DIFFERENT STUFF. Take a walk, go on a road trip, fly in a plane, go to a new class. Last year I went camping, went to Glastonbury Festival, visited France and Spain and started zumba classes. I took my 9 year old son on a 5 mile beach walk and went for picnics in the hills near where I live in the south of England. I joined the national trust and took my kids to new gardens and houses. Doing different stuff makes me feel happy and pushes my boundaries. I am about to start a yoga class. The other commitment that I am making to myself this year is to meditate every single day, even if its just for 10 minutes. In my busy life, I feel like its the only way that I am truly going to give myself some quiet, focused space each day. Make a commitment to try one small thing that’s new or out of your comfort zone.
I have come to see that creating change requires doing things differently, but those things might be little daily changes. Its about a different energy. My mantra for 2017 is to choose a different path and create a different energy. It’s the little things that often turn out to be the big things.